|HOLY GHOST TAKEOVER!!
||[Jan. 27th, 2009|12:22 pm]
|||||Watching the Celerbration of Gospel||]|
Well let me start out by saying, that my 2009 has not started out like I expected. Lets start at the beginging. So Watch night service, was good! After midnight, all the young adults stayed and we just continued to praise him. I mean all of us, JR was so in the spirit, he started to singing this beautiful song, about being in God's Glory. Oh man it was sooo beautiful and heavenly! Like we all knew, that we were def going to a higher level this year, of 2009. So the next day, all the girls get together to play the sleepover we wanted to throw for the young teen girls. We were going to share out testimones and issues that we dealt with when we were yonger. Now this intial vision came to Kristen and Tasha, and they came to the rest of us. So we all shared our testimones with each other, and we were all ready to have the sleepover that friday night. At this meeting, it was shared that Daveion would be proposing to his girlfriend, Danae. And I shared my opnion, that I wish they would wait, and they are too young. And that I didn't see her supporting him in minstry/calling that he as on his wife. As she was always going back and forth, on wheater she was saved, and seemed like she would only get saved for Daveion. Okay so after the meeting, me, dionne, and tasha, went over to Auntie Tanya's house for dinner. We were having a good time, we talked about JR's relationships with girls, and such. Then Dre and Marcus, come over, to bring Deshawn over. And they were at the proposal, and Marcus procedeed to mock Daveion and we all were laughing. I then said again, tht I thought he was young, and I wish he would wait. I believe Dionne said some of the same thing, and thats was it. On Friday, was the delayed TV's christmas party, where they annouced the engagement, and at the table I even told them, I wish they would have a long engagement. So then Sunday night, I get a strange text from Mamay nay, saying I wish we could love more, and quit the backbiting. I was like WTH..Me, JR, and Fred got it. I called Dionne, and she was like Daveion is mad, that we talked about him. I was like what are you talking about. We thought Fred went and told him what we said, but Fred was like no, I didnt, as he got the text too. So I go on the rest of my week, like whatever. So then, thrusday night I get a text from Kristen, that at her decision, the slumber party, is going to be a regular party, and we won't be sharing our tesimonies. Me, Dionne, and Tasha were hot! We didn't know what was going on. Dionne said that thursday night at church, Kristen was talking to Mama Nay, and was crying, then talking to Missy. Brown. So I am thinking, Mama Nay got to Kristen, cause earlier Mama Nay thought we were going to gang up TT, cause she was one of the main problems witht he teen girls. But I thought we clear that up, so i am like what is making Kristen cancel it. So I called her fussing her out, and all she would say, is that she couldn't tell me, its her decision, and we can talk about it later. She was like there is just alot of confusion. that I can't talk about. So then I tell her, I am going to talk to Missy. Brown, to ask her if what we are doing is wrong, and I thought to hopefully tell Kristen, to not cancel it. But then I get a message from Kristen, that we are going to have a meeting with Missy brown, but it was just going to be me, dionne, kristen, and tasha. Not Amber, not Tyea. So me and Dionne couldn't figure it out, that if its about a slumber party, why isn't everyone going to go. So we get there, and Missy Brown, was like JR, and Fred are coming too, By this time, we were all confused. So they come too, and then Missy. Brown, opens up the dictonoary and gives us the defination of Gosssiping! And went on to say that we were wrong about talking Daveion, and then she brings up Aaron, and how hurt he was about us talking about his white girlfriend. So we all were taken aback, like Pastor and Missy. couldn't even ask us our side, we were gulity, we were the cause of all the discord in the church. Missy Brown, said that she wanted to be healed, and if we are all together in the church, thats why she isn't, she told me I shouldn't be saying my opinions, as I am not an expert, since I never been married. So we wanted to call a meeting with daveion, to talk it out. Then Missy. Brown goes on to say, that me and JR are the ring leaders of the clique, we want to control everything. She then brings up the marriage issues of the marriage peeps going off by themselves. She brings up the Nyesha thing. So we were like where is this coming from. These are all old issues. So we conclude that Kriten been talkign to Missy Brown, and it was like she was bringing up all these charges against us, to make us look worse and worse. We then we had to meet Sunday night. Also that Friday night, I find out my aunt Tina has died, and that my grandmother in unconscience, and she is on her way to die. So I am just like oh man, my dad is going out his mind right now. So I had to deal with all that. My grandmother died Saturday, and I was done. I cried, and I was like God, why all this now. It seemed like my spiritual leaders turned against me, I gotta deal with my family issues, my finanical situtaion, of my hours at work getting cut, and not making enough money. So I was just done, spirtually I was just depleted. The sunday meeting, didn't really solve anything. Davieon was already over it, and we all concluded it was petty, and we have to resolve not to gossip anymore. But we all were like, how can we get over it so quickly. We felt like Kristen compeletly sold us out. Our spitual leaders, were disappointed in us. Like we really didm't want to go to TV anymore. I was just done. Everything I have ever known has just vanished from me. So my mom leaves to go to North Carlonia to be with my dad and help with furnerls. So I am home alone, and feeling so lost, angry, distraught, confused. So where do I turn, back to old habits. Of course! I picked up those old habits, that I always battled with, and thought I was completly delivered and done with. And I spirled quick. This time I went deeper, than I ever did before. Luckly, I just did it for like two days, and even that didn't help. I was more depressed than ever, and it wasn't even fun. I felt so dirty, So I threw that stuff out, and knew I had to get back somehow. Get back to what I knew to be true. Pastor preached an awesome message, entitled "Its not going to work!" and the church was jumping. But I just didn't feel right, like I just felt so guilty. After church Auntie Tanya had us over for dinner, and she was like you guys can't let this stop you. Pastor and Missy. Brown are human too. Take this as a lesson and move on. You can't let anyone or anythign run you out the church. She was like people always talk about me, how rude I am, but no one ever sees the good that I have done. and it doesn't matter, as I am servign God and God only. And thats what we gotta remember. So then I decided, thatI had to pray it off of me. So RIOT night, I laid it on the alter, and I complety gave it to the Lord, to forgive me, and to take the hurt and pain away. I knew I had to talk to Kristen, to settle our differences, to let go of the whole sitituation. So this past Sunday, we had church!! We had a guest Pastor, Pastor Tau, who is married to Lisa Ross-Johnson, sister Pat. This dude is a Islander man that can preach! But lets back up, Pastor during Tithes was sooo in the spirit, I seen him shout like never before! The whole chruch went into worship. So Pastor Tau preached that We are True Vine, we are blessed, and favored! Then he spoke into Aunite Tanya's life like never before! the same things she said to us, the Sunday before. So then 4:00 we have our Puget Sound District Meeting. We moved them to 4th Sundays now, instead of Monday nights, to have a bigger turnout. The church was packed! I could barely belive it. Before District meeting, me and Kristen were able to talk. And she told me, that she didn't brign all that stuff to Missy. Brown, that was brought up on her own. We jsut agreed to disagree about the slumber party issue, and how I felt that she was juding us, on what we thought we did. I said all you had to do was tell us what was goign on. I was like you blindsided us, completly. But we talked and we are coo again. So at District meeting, I felt completly able to praise him. SO we have an awesome praise service! The whole chruch seemed to be praising him. I was able to too! It felt so great! Man Puget Sound gotta be the best distrct ever! So then yesterday night, Monday, is the state pre-musical to the State Leadership Confernce. And whewww..I am still high!!! Groups sang, and they were good. We had a good inspirational speaker, who talked on the power of prayer! and we need to pray to make it. And to really pray, and spend time with him. That word was for me! So right before the district choir got up to sing, we prayed, and Shelly let us know, not to go out there just to sing, but to really minister, and let it minister to us first. So we sang more than anything, and Ronelle lead it, and he started to preach it, he preached about being broken, so we could grown right again! like whew..so it seemed like the whole church was worshiping with that song. So they wanted us to sing another song, so we sang hes able! And right then the Lord told me, I am going to pour out my spirit! and He did just that. The whole church was on fire! I got back to my seat, and just stated to dance before the Lord!! The church couldn't quiet down! We couldn't move on at all. We had an altar call, and people were saved. Missy Jones was there, and you know she is going to bring it whever she goes. Shelly was preachin!! I had to calm myself down a few times. But it was just crazy, stupid church last night! Then at the very end, Missy Jones, talked about receiving the holy spirit, and it was like just at the moment, My sprit, broke! And I just went in!! Like literally, I felt my spirt broke, and just went worshping, speaking in tounges. Thank God I was able to calm down, cause Dre had to get to work to work graveyard, and all teh peopel with cars, that he needed to use was still at church. So I was able to get home, and let them borrow my car, as their car is broke down right now. So like when I got home, I couldn't even come out the spirit, I couldn't watch TV, all I could do, put my bed clothes on, eat a little snack, and just instanly start to pray. To continue to be in his presence. And while praying, I asked God..why..why do you allow me to fill your precence, time after time I fell, and he simply told me, because YOU ARE WORTH IT! I mean I heard that clear as day, and just like I am worth it, He is worth it! Living saved, praising the Lord, Living this life is worth it!! I belive he gave me a message, and I was able to write it down in my note pad. But I love the Lord, and I will never be the same! Its time to cut out the playing, and get real!! Thank you Lord!!!!!!!!!!!!